Tag: Bible

Infertility and the Will of God

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I received this question yesterday:

During a sermon you talked about people having it in their hearts to be parents. But then you said if that doesn’t happen God has another plan. In the Old Testament, whenever a woman was barren, it was a bad reflection on that woman. Please comment on why that isn’t the case now. It seems like in old testament it was intended for all women to be giving birth.

I know that there are many godly women who struggle with infertility and wonder about this very question.

It is important to remember that in the time of the Old Testament, the view that barrenness was a curse was generally held by all cultures and societies, and was not unique to the people of God.
In ancient cultures the measure of a woman’s worth and value was often based on how many children she could produce, since having children was essential for livelihood and security.
However, the Bible’s view is that all people have intrinsic value, being created in the image of God – and one’s value is not determined by what or how much they can produce.
The Bible, including the Old Testament, has a more nuanced view of barrenness than that it was always a bad reflection on the woman. The Bible recognizes that even godly women struggle with infertility. If you look at a list of women in the Bible who struggled with infertility, you find that almost all of them were godly women, such as Hannah at the beginning of 1 Samuel. One commonly mentioned exception to this is Michal, who we studied about last Sunday in 2 Samuel 6, but in her case, we do not know exactly what the reason for her barrenness was: Was it because after she mocked and criticized David he refused to share a bed with her any more? Was it because God didn’t allow her to have children because of her disdain for David’s heart for the Lord? Was it for some totally unrelated reason, yet it is mentioned because of it’s poetic justice in the context of that story? We can’t know for sure.
To the point that God’s intention in the Old Testament seems to be that all women would be able to give birth: infertility and miscarriages are listed in Exodus and Deuteronomy in the same category as sicknesses and afflictions which are part of the result of the Fall – and the broken world we live in. That means that infertility and miscarriages are not God’s design, and therefore we should pray for those who want to have children but struggle with infertility just as we pray for the sick.

Furthermore, God created women to be life-givers, and that is not limited only to childbearing.

On a personal note, good friends of mine, great godly people who loved the Lord and served alongside us, were not able to get pregnant for many years. Finally they came and asked us to pray for them; we had not realized they were wanting to get pregnant but couldn’t. So we prayed for them and less than a year later we welcomed their daughter into the world. It was a glorious thing.
Other friends of mine have wanted to have children, have prayed, and yet they were not able to conceive. Does God sometimes say “No” to our requests? Like we see in 2 Samuel 7 – yes, and in those cases we must trust Him, that there is a reason, even if I know it not – much like David, not knowing for years why God told him no. However, we must ask and seek and knock!

I would encourage anyone struggling with fertility issues to ask for prayer.

Where Two or More are Gathered… But Why?

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You have probably heard the verse before: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” 

These words, spoken by Jesus, and recorded for us in Matthew 18:20, are often used with good intention in many settings to refer to the way that God’s presence is specially manifested in the gathering of believers.

But here’s the thing: Most people who quote that verse, although not incorrect in what they are stating, are taking those words of Jesus out of context.

Do you know what the context was in which Jesus said that famous statement?

Wait for it…

CHURCH DISCIPLINE!

Here’s the entire context:

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” (Matthew 18:15-20)

The full context of what Jesus was saying is about addressing Christians in the church who are in sin. He urges Christians to lovingly confront each other if they are in sin, for the purposes of repentance, reconciliation and restoration. This loving confrontation is to be done in the smallest circle possible, because it is not meant to shame a person or embarrass them, but to lovingly confront them because sin by nature is destructive and detrimental, not only to the person who sins, but it has an overflow affect to those around them. Sin never happens in vacuum.

If that person won’t listen to the one who lovingly confronts them, then other objective Christian brothers or sisters are to be brought along, to talk to that person and pray for them to have a change of heart and turn back to the Lord.

It is in this regard, that God says: know that I will with you when you gather together to do this, as a word of reassurance and encouragement to those seeking to do the difficult job of confronting someone in love and urging them towards repentance.

Eric Bargerhuff sums it up well:

Essentially, Jesus is teaching that interpersonal sin and conflict should not be ignored or dismissed, because Christians in general should be committed to maintaining healthy, wholesome, and fully reconciled relationships. After all, this is ultimately why Christ died, so that we first could be reconciled with God and second, reconciled to one another. So we must guard and protect our relationships from sin, especially those relationships between believers.

Jesus is saying that whenever the church is pursuing and is involved in a reconciliation process with someone who has refused to repent, they can rest assured that God’s blessing is with them in their efforts. In other words, as the church renders judicial decisions on matters of right and wrong that are based on the truth of God’s Word, they should be confident that they are doing the right thing and that Christ himself is right there with them, spiritually present in their midst.

From: The Most Misused Verses in the Bible 

Have Mercy on those who Doubt

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There are certain verses which don’t get as much air time as they deserve.

The Book of Jude is only one chapter long, but talk about one chapter that is packed with thoughts worth contemplating.

In verse 4, Jude addresses a particular kind of false teaching, which he says belongs to people who are ungodly. Namely: they pervert the grace of God and make it into a license to sin.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen that attitude amongst Christians more times than I can remember. It is incredibly common, and I believe it is related to the discussion of “free grace” and perceived value, which I wrote about last week.

Towards the end of his letter, Jude gives a call to action:

But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh. (Jude 1:20-23 ESV)

What I see here in Jude is a man who had a very important balance in his heart and in his message:

  • Pursue holiness!  Don’t compromise!  Preach the Gospel in truth, calling people to repentance!  
  • But show mercy to those who doubt. Be patient with people who are struggling with doubts, who have sincere questions, who are struggling to believe. 

There is a difference between a mocker and a doubter. A mocker is one who doesn’t even take the time to thoughtfully consider something – the kind of person who says: don’t confuse me with facts; I’ve already made up my mind.

A doubter though, is one who is willing to thoughtfully consider, but they have honest questions. I think this is where so many people are at in our society. I think this is where a lot of young people are at, coming out of high school, getting into college, as they begin to explore for themselves what it is that THEY believe, apart from their parents. Our posture towards them must be one of patience and mercy, helping them find real answers to their real questions.

The fact is, not everybody who isn’t a Christian is a hater. Some of them just have sincere doubts. And they are not to be seen or treated as enemies or adversaries.

The difference between sincere doubt and mocking doubt is portrayed very clearly in Genesis chapter 18, where God tells Abraham and Sarah that they are still going to have a baby, even though they’ve already been waiting for 18 years for that promise to come true. Sarah laughed, in a mocking “Yeah, right…” type of way.” Abraham asked, “Lord, how can I know that you will really come through on this promise?”

The difference was, Abraham was struggling to believe; he was struggling with sincere doubts. Sarah however had already determined in her heart that this whole thing about God’s promise to them was just a cruel joke.

May we have the posture that Jude had: No compromise, holiness for ourselves – and mercy and patience towards those who wrestle with sincere doubts.

Every Single Day

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There are certain messages that you hear, which you never forget. I remember hearing Jon Courson speak at a missions conference in Austria in the early 2000’s. I don’t remember much of what he said, but I do remember this phrase, which he repeated several times:

Read your Bible and pray,
every single day.

Novel concept for a group of missionaries and pastors, right? 

Well, it is actually. Because one rut that preachers and Bible teachers in particular tend to fall into is that of only reading your Bible to look for something to preach on or teach about: “sermon material” if you will. 

What I have found is that when I read the Bible purely to hear from the Lord and delight in His Word, it keeps me so fresh and alive as a Christian, that it makes me a better minister.

For example, yesterday I was reading through 2 Chronicles, and I read chapters 20-23. That’s one of those sections of the Bible that people like to skip over, because it’s full of hard to pronounce names and stories that are downright confusing – because it’s never clear who the “good guy” really is (hint: the only “good guy” in the story is GOD himself!).

After reading those passages, I went to meet with a brother from our church, and it just so happened that the very chapters I had read spoke directly to what he was going through in his life – in a way that was actually quite moving. And it wasn’t just one thing – it was several things from various stories in those 4 chapters. If I hadn’t been reading through the Word consistently, I’m sure I would have had something to share with this brother, but it wouldn’t have been so alive and prophetic as this was.

Another thing I remember Jon Courson saying: 

Wherever you are in the Word, that’s where you are.

That was basically Jon’s way of saying that in the providence of God, the scriptures you will read as you read through the Bible will often apply directly to the situation you are in. I have found that to be very true. 

May we never be people who only look to God’s word for “material” that we can USE in speaking to others. May we come to it always as the fountain of life.  But if you do that, you will also find that when you hide His Word in your heart, you will have plenty of “material” to share with others. 

The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, turning a person from the snares of death. – Proverbs 14:27

We do not know what to do…

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I was inspired this morning reading the story of King Jehoshaphat – he’s one of the bright spots in the chronicles of the kings of Israel and Judah.

In 2 Chronicles 20, we read how Jehoshaphat was faced with a difficult situation: the Moabites and the Ammonites, people groups who Israel had respected and lived beside peaceably as good neighbors, teamed up to attack and conquer Israel.

When Jehoshaphat received the news that these attacking armies were already in the land of Israel, on his doorstep, “he was afraid” – understandably – but look how he reacted: “[Jehoshaphat] set his face to seek the LORD, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah. And Judah assembled to seek help from the LORD; from all the cities of Judah they came to seek the LORD.” (2 Chronicles 20:3-4)

There are so many ways that people respond to bad news. I love the response of Jehoshaphat! Would to God that I would respond that way myself!

I once heard the statement that the key to leadership is that when you get bad news, you respond in great ways. That’s what Jehoshaphat did.

Key to leadership: When you get bad news, you respond in great ways

After calling the people together, Jehoshaphat led them in prayer – and he prayed fervently, from his heart, with faith. He says: “If disaster comes upon us, the sword, judgment, or pestilence, or famine, we will stand before this house and before you – for your name is in this house – and cry out to you in our affliction, and you will hear and save.” (2 Chronicles 20:9)

But most of all, I love the heart with which he ends the prayer: “For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (2 Chronicles 20:12)

We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

There is something about that sentiment which resonates with me. There are so many situations about which I feel the same way: I don’t know what to do. Riots in Ferguson, war in Ukraine, strife and conflict in families in our own community. The list could go on. I sympathize with the heart of Jehoshaphat: I don’t know what to do, Lord!  But his conclusion couldn’t be more right on: But our eyes are on you. Lord, we are looking to you to save and deliver and change and redeem. We can’t do it – so we look to you, Lord!

If you read the end of the story, what you find out is that Jehoshaphat and Judah win the battle; the tide turns when Jehoshaphat organizes the people to both fight and to worship. May that be true of us as well in the situations that we face – that we would have the heart of Jehoshaphat in those times.

Give…expecting nothing in return

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One of the sayings of Jesus that I find most inspiring and challenging is in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 6, where Jesus says:

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

(Luke 6:32-35 ESV)

Most of us do things for others with at least some expectation that we will receive something in return. If we are nice to others, we expect that they will be nice to us in return. If they are not, we tend to get upset about it.

Many of us give with the expectation, that at least the recipient will be appreciative of our generosity.

Many of us love, with the expectation that our love will be reciprocated – and if it is not, then we tend to “clam up”, because to love is to make oneself vulnerable, and unreciprocated love leaves us more vulnerable than reciprocated love.

But here is Jesus challenging us toward something that does not come naturally: to GIVE, expecting nothing in return.

Nothing.

Why? Because that is how God loves.  And if you do that, then you will understand the heart of the Father in a profound way, and you will be like Him. Because He gives to the ungrateful and the evil – He blesses people who don’t deserve it and don’t even appreciate it.  

If He gets nothing out of it, then why does He do it?   Because that is what divine love does: it gives, not as a means of coercion, but simply gives out of pure love.

I want to be that kind of person, to my wife, to my kids, to those around me – even to my “enemies”. This is the vision; only by the grace of God can I carry it out.

How Does Marriage Affect Violence Against Women and Children?

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How Does Marriage Affect Violence Against Women and Children?

This article in the Washington Post this week showed that statistically, women and children in married families suffer far less domestic violence than those in other situations.

Married women are notably safer than their unmarried peers, and girls raised in a home with their married father are markedly less likely to be abused or assaulted than children living without their own father.

As Christians, one of the best things we can do for society is to uphold and promote strong biblical ethics.

If Your Bible is Falling Apart…

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I finally went ahead and bought a new Bible.

My old “go-to” Bible was an NASB that I bought at the Tattered Cover in Denver back in 2002, on my first trip back from Hungary after moving there as a missionary. I read that Bible and preached from it for years. It has coffee stains, ripped pages, and a broken binding, which I superglued back together twice.

I still plan to use it. How could I just put an old friend on the shelf?

There’s a saying, that goes: “If your Bible is falling apart, your life probably isn’t.”

I plan to read this new one until the cover falls off of it too.

 

Strength to Press On

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I love Colorado. Especially this time of year, when everything is green.

I grew up in Colorado, but growing up here, I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should have. I started to appreciate it a lot more in my later teenage years, but soon moved away. The 10 years that I was away, I lived in and traveled to amazing and (sometimes) beautiful places in Europe, but all that time I dreamt about the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. The only problem I have with Colorado is there’s not enough Hungarian-speakers here 🙂  When I moved back to Colorado, I determined to appreciate and enjoy the grandeur and beauty of this place as much as possible. 

Today, as I was biking outside of Lyons with a friend, I started reflecting on a regret I have: something I would change if I could roll back time. It’s not a major one – and it’s certainly not too late to correct.

Here it is: If I could roll back time, I would have done more things as a younger man to train myself in endurance. It’s not that I don’t have endurance, but I wish I had even greater endurance than I currently do – and I wish I had started training myself in it earlier in life. Had I done so, my endurance level would probably be higher than it is now.

Endurance is key to success in climbing mountains, biking, snowshoeing, backpacking and hiking. It’s also key in many areas of life. Paul the Apostle encouraged us to “run with endurance the race which is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1). The race he was speaking of was the life lived following after Jesus Christ and pursuing God and his will.

At church on Sunday I shared this quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “Christianity is less about cautiously avoiding sin than about courageously and actively dong the will of God.”

That race isn’t a 100 meter dash – it’s a marathon. And marathons require endurance.

Endurance is something that can be gained, it is something can be cultivated, something you can train yourself in – and we would all do well to do so. Having a successful marriage requires endurance. Having success in raising a family, in doing a ministry – it requires endurance. Anybody can have a burst of energy and make a “flash in the pan” – but in order to regularly produce lasting fruit over a sustained period requires endurance. 

I also believe the promise of God’s Word, that to those who seek after Him with their whole hearts, God will give the grace and endurance to run this race and finish it well.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the LORD, and my right is disregarded by my God”? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:27-31 ESV)

When Life Gives You Lemons…

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This past Sunday I taught 1 Samuel 18 at White Fields (the audio of that message can be found here).

This is the story of Saul’s jealousy towards David, which leads him to begin a campaign to hurt David in order to secure his position of power and prominence in Israel. It is a story full of themes which are all too familiar for many of us, because they are so human.

Here are a few quotes from Sunday which are worth revisiting:

One of the main principles in this story is the fact that you can’t control how people treat you, and often-times you can’t control what happens to you, but you do get to choose how you respond to those things.

Ted Engstrom illustrates this principle well:

“Cripple him, and you have a Sir Walter Scott.
Lock him in a prison cell, and you have a John Bunyan.
Bury him in the snows of Valley Forge, and you have a George Washington.
Raise him in abject poverty and you have an Abraham Lincoln.
Strike him down with infantile paralysis, and he becomes a Franklin Roosevelt.
Burn him so severely that the doctors say he’ll never walk again, and you have a Glenn Cunningham who set the world’s one-mile record in 1934.
Deafen him and you’ll have a Ludwig van Beethoven.
Have him or her born black in a society filled with racial discrimination, and you’ll have a Booker T. Washington, and a George Washington Carver
Call him a slow learner, and write him off as uneducable, and you have an Albert Einstein.”

All of these people had terrible circumstances that they didn’t get to choose, that nobody would have ever chosen! But they didn’t crumble under these circumstances; instead, they responded well – and their circumstances ended up becoming an important part of who they would become and why they would be great.

The same is true of David. Men after God’s heart aren’t made in palaces, they are made in fields on cold nights, tending the sheep alone under the stars; they are made in caves, where the Lord is your only rock and fortress.

Gene Edwards, in his classic book ‘A Tale of Three Kings: A Study in Brokenness’, writes this about David’s difficult circumstances:

David the sheepherder would have grown up to become King Saul II, except that God cut away the Saul inside David’s heart. That operation, took years and was a brutalizing experience that almost killed the patient. And what were the scalpel and tongs God used to remove that inner Saul from David’s heart?  God used the outer Saul.
King Saul sought to destroy David, but his only success was that he became the instrument of God to put to death the Saul who roamed about in the caverns of David’s own soul.

Edwards goes on to say:

God is looking at the King Saul in you.
“In me?!”
Yes, Saul is in your bloodstream, in the marrow of your bones. He makes up the very flesh and muscle of your heart. He is mixed into your soul. He inhabits the nuclei of your atoms. King Saul is one with you. You are King Saul! He breathes in the lungs and beats in the breast of all of us. There is only one way to get rid of him: he must be annihilated.

You don’t get to choose your circumstances, but you do get to choose how you respond.  When life gives you lemons… may God help us to respond well!