A few weeks ago, I was sitting in the car with my kids on a family trip, and my teenage daughter asked me, “Dad, why is it wrong to be gay?”
I responded that, first we needed to discuss what she meant by “gay”; did she mean: “Is it a sin to feel attraction to people of the same sex?” or did she mean, “Is it a sin to perform sexual activities with people of the same sex?” – because those are two very different questions, which have two different responses from the Bible.
She clarified by saying, “Well, why is it wrong for two people of the same sex to be in love?”
I responded, “The Bible encourages people of the same sex to love each other. We are all called to love everyone God puts in our path, but that certainly doesn’t mean that we are to have sex with everyone God puts in our path.” “For example, the Bible says that David loved Jonathan more than he loved any woman. But that doesn’t mean that they performed sexual acts together; rather that they had a close and intimate friendship. In other words, when we reduce ‘love’ down to sex, we are cheapening it. Further, the Bible’s vision is for people of the same sex to have meaningful, loving friendships, but that’s different than having sex with someone.”
She clarified once again, “Why is it that people of the same sex can’t have romantic relationships?”
I responded, “What do you mean by romantic? Are you talking about an exclusive relationship which is characterized by touching of a sexual nature?”
At this point, she said, “Okay, I get it,” and we changed the subject.
I tell this story to illustrate why Preston Sprinkle’s latest book, Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?: 21 Conversations from a Historically Christian View, is so needed right now.
My daughter did not ask these questions from a heart of rebellion against God, but out of genuine curiosity and interest, and because she has sincere questions. Certainly the questions she asked were shaped by the cultural influences she faces at school and in the world in general. You can imagine people asking her these questions, and her wondering how to respond. As a father, I’m glad she asked me, and gave me the chance to help her understand.
I received an advance copy of this book to read and review a few months ago. The book was released to the public on August 1, 2023 and is now available wherever books are sold.
The book begins with two chapters which give “Foundations,” or principles which need to be clarified up front. The first is about how to have a fruitful conversation about these topics which are highly charged when it comes to emotions and politics, in the world today. The second foundation is an explanation of the historically Christian view of marriage. This chapter is helpful, in that it looks at how Christians have viewed and understood marriage for the past 2000 years, and why. It looks at the Bible and the writings of church fathers, and more.
Then, the book goes into a response to 21 common questions or claims, which people use as justification for why same-sex marriage should be affirmed by Christians. Preston then responds to these in brief but content-rich chapters. He does so with tact and empathy, which I appreciated very much. He also shares data, statistics, history, facts, and quotes to support his responses.
Overall, the recurring theme of his answers is that sex difference is part of God’s design for marriage and that both same-sex sexual activity as well as all sex outside of marriage is considered “sexual immorality” (porneia in Greek) in the Bible.
For me, the most helpful chapters were Conversations 12-14, which addresses the claims that:
- Jesus’ Sabbath Hermeneutic Informs How We Should Interpret Same-Sex Prohibitions
- God’s Acceptance of Gentiles Mirrors How We Should Accept LGB People
- The Trajectory of Women and Slavery Justifies Same-Sex Prohibitions
There are other chapters which are more “ground-level,” which address questions and claims which may be more common, such as:
- Love is Love
- Some People are Born Gay, So It Must Be Okay
- Paul Was Not Talking about Consensual Same-Sex Relationships
- The Word Homosexual Was Added to the Bible in 1946
In each chapter, Preston begins by giving a summary of the claim or viewpoint of those who argue for that particular position, then he follows it by sharing a few points of agreement, and finally gives a response.
In the end, Preston’s answer to the question posed in the title of the book is: No, the Bible does not support same-sex marriage. Yet he gives this answer in a thoughtful and helpful manner, which shows respect for his readers and those whose claims he seeks to refute. Finally, he urges the church to truly live out a biblical vision of being a community where the same-sex attracted can find acceptance, love, and care, so that they have a loving community to support them in faithfully following Jesus, including God’s instructions about sexual ethics.
I recommend this book as a helpful resource on this very relevant issue. It would be better if more Christians were well equipped to answer the questions people are asking about same-sex issues, with love and truth.
Theology for the People 